Little Drummer Boy

I have never been fond of this Christmas tune. I'm not quite sure why - I think it may be the constant "pa-rum-pum-pum-pums." Something about those never really resonated with me.

However, for some reason, I heard this song this Christmas Season, and started getting misty eyed! This is one of my husbands favorite Christmas songs, so when it came on the Josh Groban Christmas mix, we listened to it - and for the first time, I really LISTENED to the WORDS of this song - and my heart tuned in. Here are the lyrics (minus the "pa-rum-pum-pums"):

Come they told me - a newborn King to see!

Our finest gifts we bring, to lay before the King,

So to honor Him - when we come.

Little Baby - I am a poor boy too.

I have no gift to bring, that's fit to bring a King:

Shall I play for You on my drum?

Mary nodded, the ox and lamb kept time,

I played my drum for Him - I played my best for Him.

Then He smiled at me. Me and my drum.

These words are really hitting me this season. I keep having a picture in my mind of a young boy, wearing rags - dirty, standing on stage at church, with a spotlight on him - looking up to the Lord - playing his drum with all of his heart to worship the God he loves, even though he has nothing else to bring. It grips my heart every time I imagine this scene.

I'm still processing through what the Lord is trying to show me through this, but I think He's trying to speak something significant.

Sometimes I feel like I don't do a very good job of bringing good gifts to the altar of the Lord. I'm not good at giving over my "best" to the Lord. In my selfishness, I like to keep those things for myself. There is something so unique about worship through music - where it is so natural for me to give my best to the Lord. My prayer is that this ability to sing with all my heart to the Lord - giving my all - begins to seep into every aspect of my life, so that when my voice is gone, the worship continues.

It's not even so much about bringing our "best" to the Lord. It's about bring our "all" to the Lord - He wants us - completely - rags and all.

I am so thankful for His grace, and that He loves to accept our offerings of worship - even those offerings that are drenched in tears and dirt.

May we bring our all to Him this Christmas season.

Greed

I've never really thought of myself as greedy - until I heard a pastor use this definition of greed -

Greed: Wanting more of that which you already have enough.

Do I ever want more food?

Do I already have enough food?

Do I ever want more clothes?

Do I already have enough clothes?

Do I ever want more money?

Do I already have enough money?

Do I ever want a bigger house/nicer things/etc.?

Do I already have ENOUGH?

This is convicting to think about - especially in this season - which is ironic considering the true meaning of the Christmas season. My heart is sad as I'm anticipating Black Friday - working retail, I'm scared of what I will see - I think it will be sad. I am reminded though - that I am no better than those "greedy" shoppers.

Lord, sanctify me. Let me be satisfied with little - with enough.

Psalm 40

I really like thinking about the life of David.

He was aware of his sin.

He was aware of his need for God to save him.

He was able to rest in the hopeful certainty that God would save him.

I hope to be more like David - not because he was a "great Bible hero" but because he knew who he was, and who God is.

Mrs. Ryan

Since being married, I have been eating vanilla yogurt with bananas almost every day.

Since being married, I have only been to Starbucks once (it was a drizzly day....and a 2 pump pumpkin spice/2 pump white chocolate mocha was SCREAMING my name) :) (oh...this does not include our wedding day and honeymoon weekend, where my husband got me Starbucks both Saturday AND Sunday!)

Since being married, I am realizing more and more that every decision I make now effects another human being more than ever before - which is incredibly scary/convicting/encouraging/exciting all at the same time.

Since being married, I have been solely responsible for eating half of the top tier of our wedding cake :)

Since being married, I have been shown more clearly and wonderfully than ever before, the patience and tenderness of the Lord, through my incredible husband.

Since being married, I have learned I love watching NCIS.

Since being married, I have made my husband his lunch every day for work, which is probably more lunches than I ever made for myself all throughout my childhood - and I love it.

Since being married, I have learned that a toaster oven is a fine substitute for a toaster.

Since being married, I have realized that one huge display of God's grace toward me, is the fact that He gave me a husband who is financially smart - student loans: watch out - we're gonna kick your butt! :)

Since being married, I am still me, but I think I will slowly become a better me by learning what it means to become an "us".

Hopefully more to come soon on the most beautiful/sacred/glorious/joyful day of my life so far :)

♥♥♥

Lately...

Julie had a birthday, Andrew got a job, had my first Bridal shower, Found the most perfect apartment, Engagement Pictures tonight.....life is good. :)

Yet Will I Sing

Today I've been thinking about a lyric from one of my all time favorite songs - "Yet Will I Sing" by Audra Lynn. The line is:

"Though the light be hidden from me, yet will I walk - yet will I run after You"

I.LOVE.THIS.LINE.

What's crazy, is that 1 year ago (not quite to the day...but almost...) this lyric was what I put as my facebook status. It's so cool to realize that the reason those words resonated with me a year ago, are completely different reasons than why I have been mulling over them the past couple of days.

In this lyric, the "light", to me, represents God's will - God's plan for my life. The light represents the illumination of my future. What is AMAZING to me, is that those things that were hidden from me a year ago - those things that caused me so much confusion, desire, longing - those things that caused me to put every ounce of my trust in the Lord - those things that I was questioning --- have now been revealed to me. WOW! How cool is that??? I ran down the path toward God so.hard. BECAUSE the light was hidden from me - I desired to see that light so badly, that it compelled me to run hard after the Lord. And when I was lost in Him, He slowly began revealing to me His plans for me. The piece that had me questioning, is now in place in my life. What a gracious God.

Now, I am in a place where I have new unanswered questions. New concerns about my future (which is quickly becoming an "our" future...see above paragraph.... ;) ) I am in another stage of looking into the unknown. My prayer now, is that I can learn from the previous season I endured - learn to:

1.) TRUST in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding. Trust Him to show me exactly what I need to know, exactly when I need to know it - that I can trust Him with my whole life. It sounds so dumb when I realize my own unbelief - Lord I believe!!! Help my unbelief.

2.) run HARD after God. Not in order to gain revelation about my future, but because that is why I am alive! That is what I am wired for. Worshipping the Lord all the days of my life - running hard after Him. May that be true of me.

Here's the song if anyone is curious :)

audra lynn - yet will i sing.mp3

Found at: FilesTube

Portland --> Seattle --> Missoula

I felt like I should blog whilst I'm in an airport. Sounds so adventurous. I am currently in the Seattle airport - Gate B3 to be exact, awaiting my next flight to Missoula, MT. Yep, that's right folks, I'm travelling.

Blessing of the day so far:

*My wonderful fiance getting up super early so he could pick me up at 6:30 to take me to the airport

*I was actually ready on time!

*Checked my bag and made it through security with no problems

*Found my gate really easily

*There was a Starbucks right next to my gate, which was perfect. Got my morning iced americano (I still wanted to snooze on the plane though :p )

*Flight to Seattle was on time

*Talked with a nice girl while waiting for our flight to Seattle, then talked a little more as we walked to our connecting flights - both wanting to make sure we didn't accidentally go out the wrong way, causing us to have to go through security again

*Reading more of Future Grace (making me consciously not only be thankful for these blessings, but trust that God will provide the rest of the journey) :)

*Finding a bathroom right by my gate to leave for MT :)

That's all for now, I'll try and keep this slightly updated with my adventures, not sure what my internet access will look like, but I think I'll be able to get on at some point during my trip!

Future Grace

I have just begun to read Future Grace by John Piper. Really, just begun - like I've only read the 2 forwards and Chapter 1 (out of 31!) - but I'm already extremely excited about what I'm reading. It was interesting glancing back at my blurb about "remembering" in my blog about graduation (yes...I just linked to my own blog...it's ok, I promise. I've seen other bloggers do it). John Piper makes the point that a lot of Christian's today base their faith on past grace - the graces of God shown to them in the past - through practices like remembering, and thankfulness. Piper says that these things aren't bad to do - remembering the cross of Christ is the foundation of our faith! Rather, his claim is that a persevering faith, is a faith that is also based upon future grace - trusting that the God who has shown us grace in the past (in so many vastly different ways) will continue to do so in the future. This is why, he claims, so many people become Christians, are "on fire", and then it "fizzles" out - because they only base their faith on past grace, and don't have faith in future grace. (now...this is entirely my own paraphrase, and what I got out of what he said, so if I'm off base, it's not necessarily due to what Piper has written). I'm really interested to keep reading and hopefully grow my faith in future grace!

:)

Messy Pantries and Coffee

Does anyone actually have a pantry that looks like this:

I didn't think so. Sheesh....well, this image gives me inspiration at least :) Thank you Lark & Branch for showing me it's possible.

In other news - I've been thinking lately about ways to decorate, mostly when it comes to pictures on the walls. One recent idea is that when Andrew and I have our own place, if we have some sort of "office" or extra room, to have some sort of picture from every country the two of us have been to (individually or together). I think it could be a cool way to represent our traveling experiences without putting up a flag of each country or something...

I also like coffee. Surprise! But really, I like the idea of incorporating coffee into my kitchen :) Here are some images I like:

I also like the idea of this series of three (I actually saw these in February when I was on a beach trip and was so close to buying them, but decided to spend my money elsewhere):

Just some random thoughts for the day! Happy Wednesday!

Energy For Dummies

I read an article recently in Real Simple magazine entitled "25 Instant Energy Boosters." I really liked it - I think I have semi-chronic low-energy issues. I am NOT a morning person - but I would love to do everything I can to become one. I think one thing that could help would be eating healthier and having a more regular sleep-schedule. Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my favorite tips from the article in hopes of motivating myself to try and make goals out of the ones that stood out to me! Here are ten of my favorites, along with a "goal" for each one:

1.) Get a whiff of citrus

-the smells of oranges, lemons, and grapefruits have been shown to be energizing, so simply add a slice or two of your favorite to a glass of water.

GOAL #1: Have lemons available, and put a couple of slices into my water

2.) Drink a glass of water in the morning/drink more water

-hydrating first thing in the morning increases the chances that you'll continue throughout the day and prevents dehydration which causes fatigue

GOAL #2: drink.more.water. This goal goes well with goal #1. I've been trying to drink water first thing in the morning, and being sure to drink water throughout the day. This has been a big help lately...(which...I didn't realize was rare until looking it up just now!)

3.) Drink an herbal tea at night

-chamomile will help calm you down for sleep, while peppermint aids digestion

GOAL #3: if I have a hankering to eat or drink late at night - go for the tea!

4.) Sit up straight

-poor posture puts uneven pressure on your spine and causes some muscles to work extra hard, which makes them tight and tense and so they use up extra energy - realign your spine by simply lifting your rib cage away from the top of your hips

GOAL #4: sit up straighter!

5.) Be nice to a stranger

-when you do something kind, your energy goes up

GOAL #5: look for creative ways to bless strangers - this article recommends checking out actsofkindness.org - I'll have to check that out!

6.) Rise and seek sunshine

-you want to use light and stimulation to wake you up for the daytime, then use dark and quiet at night, if you can go outside within 15 minutes of waking for 20 minutes and face east, even on a cloudy day, you'll get enough light to energize yourself for the day

GOAL #6: try to sit outside on my balcony at least 3 mornings a week

7.) Exercise

-don't spend 45 minutes on the treadmill at one consistent pace - alternating bursts of energy like running, with slower activity, like walking, over the course of 30 minutes is a more energizing way to work out than endurance-focused exercise. Also, one-minute sets of jumping jacks throughout the day will get your blood flowing

GOAL #7: regular exercise. This will probably be a goal of mine for the rest of my life - but I've gotta keep trying! I like the jumping jacks idea too.

8.) Fill a vase with fresh flowers

-a study has shown that people who looked at fresh flowers in the morning reported higher energy levels for the rest of the day (Evidently Proflowers.com is offering Real Simple readers a 15% discount from June 1 - July 31..hmm...may have to take them up on the offer!)

GOAL #8: I don't know if this tip gives me a goal I really want to follow....but, I like the idea of having flowers around! maybe I'll use it as an occasional treat!

9.) Write a thank you note

-stress zaps energy, an it's tough to be stressed and feel grateful at the same time

GOAL #9: take time out of every day to think of reasons I have to be thankful *Colossians 3:15 comes to mind*

10.) Turn your world upside down

-any inverted pose is energizing, even just leaning over to touch your toes, try doing the "downward dog" or just sticking your rear against the wall, put your feet two feet in front of you, bend your knees, and bend forward.

GOAL #10: mostly I just thought this one was funny....if you see me randomly go into the "downward dog" position...you'll know that I decided to make a goal out of this tip.

Also, I wanted to add a tip of my own that I think will give you energy:

TIP: bring back the high ponytail. just try it, you'll know what I mean.

That's all for now! Here's to having more energy!!

:)

Graduation Weekend

I am graduating from college on Sunday. I have actually earned a degree in mathematics. I cannot believe HOW MUCH I've learned over the past four years. My first college math class was calculus, and my last college math class was spent proving all of the theorems I learned in calculus. It's pretty amazing to realize all of the skills I have gained mathematically. Not to mention that I have learned how to work my behind off, even when I am not seeing the results I want (ahem...modern algebra....ahem). The skills that I have developed will without a doubt help me, in ways I don't even realize, in the future.

That is just a tiny glimpse into how I've grown through my major. I can't even begin to express all that I've learned, and all of the ways I've been stretched when it comes to my faith over the past four years. I have learned that being a "Christian" doesn't always look the way I expect it to look - and that people who have other opinions than mine, have actual reason that they hold their beliefs. And GRACE. Oh have I learned more and more about grace (by God's grace :) ) It always overwhelms me when I actually take the time to stop and think about grace. Each year was marked by something different:

Freshman Year:

*waiting

*identity

Sophomore Year:

*dating

*deaths in the family

*friendship

Junior Year:

*awesome house-mates

*math...math...math..extremely difficult

*growing

*Unlimited

*giving my whole heart back to God

Senior Year:

*JOY

*contentment

*unknown future

*getting engaged

*GRADUATING (6/13/10)

It's so good to remember. (ALL over the Old Testament....should probably take note, just gotta remember... ;) ) It is such a healthy practice to remind yourself of all of the good things God has done. So my goal for this weekend: remember. Think back on all of the incredible ways that God has shown me His love - and His incredible grace, and learn to continue to TRUST that He will always, no matter what, continue to do the same in the future.

Discovering My Fingerprints

Well, I have given in
Decided to jump on the bandwagon
Started a blog

I think there are two main reasons why I want to have a blog.

1.) I want to be known
This is the reason why I believe people have blogs. We want to be known. I usually use it as somewhat of a way to poke fun at people - they have a blog because they just "want to be known." But, the truth of the matter is, we ALL want to be known. And the truth is - we were created to know, and to be known. So, I have realized, why hide the fact that I too want to be known? It's true. I just need to first and foremost make sure that I am contented in the fact that I am completely and thoroughly known by my Creator.

2.) The other reason is that I want a venue to attempt to write about who I am, in hopes of figuring out more of who I am, and who I was created to be. I want to figure out what I like - what I dislike, what I think about things....

I was realizing, I often look at other people's blogs wishing I was like them. For instance: this girl. Something about her intruiges me so much. She has wild curly hair, she wore a scarf on her head as her veil, she wears clothes from anthropologie, and she decorates her home with things like this and of course, is all about eating organic... I spent a good amount of time last night perusing her blog, fascinated by her life, wanting to somehow enter in. Then I realized....That is SO NOT ME!! I mean....she rode into her wedding on a HORSE.....and let's be honest....if I ever tried to wear a romper, I would feel ridiculous!! I think it is fine to appreciate other styles, and be fascinated by people who are vastly different than us. But, there's a fine line between interest and envy - and I want to steer clear of any sort of envy toward a life that isn't mine.

So, I want to devote this blog to really showing a glimpse into my life - my likes and dislikes, my thoughts and opinions, maybe I'll even share bits and pieces of my heart from time to time. Learning what it means to be the woman God created me to be - not trying to put forth an image that is so far from myself, that I begin to long for a life that is not my own.

Those are my most recent thoughts.
My header is the first glimpse into something I like: European window sills :) haha, random, but I've loved them ever since my first trip to Slovenia, driving through Italy for 4 hours looking out the window and taking everything in. Also, evidently I like the "link" feature since I linked so many things in this blog :p

I think that's all for now, who knows, maybe I'll realize that I was not created to blog, and this will never get used. I guess either way, the purpose of this will be accomplished :)