Greed

I've never really thought of myself as greedy - until I heard a pastor use this definition of greed -

Greed: Wanting more of that which you already have enough.

Do I ever want more food?

Do I already have enough food?

Do I ever want more clothes?

Do I already have enough clothes?

Do I ever want more money?

Do I already have enough money?

Do I ever want a bigger house/nicer things/etc.?

Do I already have ENOUGH?

This is convicting to think about - especially in this season - which is ironic considering the true meaning of the Christmas season. My heart is sad as I'm anticipating Black Friday - working retail, I'm scared of what I will see - I think it will be sad. I am reminded though - that I am no better than those "greedy" shoppers.

Lord, sanctify me. Let me be satisfied with little - with enough.

Psalm 40

I really like thinking about the life of David.

He was aware of his sin.

He was aware of his need for God to save him.

He was able to rest in the hopeful certainty that God would save him.

I hope to be more like David - not because he was a "great Bible hero" but because he knew who he was, and who God is.

Mrs. Ryan

Since being married, I have been eating vanilla yogurt with bananas almost every day.

Since being married, I have only been to Starbucks once (it was a drizzly day....and a 2 pump pumpkin spice/2 pump white chocolate mocha was SCREAMING my name) :) (oh...this does not include our wedding day and honeymoon weekend, where my husband got me Starbucks both Saturday AND Sunday!)

Since being married, I am realizing more and more that every decision I make now effects another human being more than ever before - which is incredibly scary/convicting/encouraging/exciting all at the same time.

Since being married, I have been solely responsible for eating half of the top tier of our wedding cake :)

Since being married, I have been shown more clearly and wonderfully than ever before, the patience and tenderness of the Lord, through my incredible husband.

Since being married, I have learned I love watching NCIS.

Since being married, I have made my husband his lunch every day for work, which is probably more lunches than I ever made for myself all throughout my childhood - and I love it.

Since being married, I have learned that a toaster oven is a fine substitute for a toaster.

Since being married, I have realized that one huge display of God's grace toward me, is the fact that He gave me a husband who is financially smart - student loans: watch out - we're gonna kick your butt! :)

Since being married, I am still me, but I think I will slowly become a better me by learning what it means to become an "us".

Hopefully more to come soon on the most beautiful/sacred/glorious/joyful day of my life so far :)

♥♥♥

Lately...

Julie had a birthday, Andrew got a job, had my first Bridal shower, Found the most perfect apartment, Engagement Pictures tonight.....life is good. :)

Yet Will I Sing

Today I've been thinking about a lyric from one of my all time favorite songs - "Yet Will I Sing" by Audra Lynn. The line is:

"Though the light be hidden from me, yet will I walk - yet will I run after You"

I.LOVE.THIS.LINE.

What's crazy, is that 1 year ago (not quite to the day...but almost...) this lyric was what I put as my facebook status. It's so cool to realize that the reason those words resonated with me a year ago, are completely different reasons than why I have been mulling over them the past couple of days.

In this lyric, the "light", to me, represents God's will - God's plan for my life. The light represents the illumination of my future. What is AMAZING to me, is that those things that were hidden from me a year ago - those things that caused me so much confusion, desire, longing - those things that caused me to put every ounce of my trust in the Lord - those things that I was questioning --- have now been revealed to me. WOW! How cool is that??? I ran down the path toward God so.hard. BECAUSE the light was hidden from me - I desired to see that light so badly, that it compelled me to run hard after the Lord. And when I was lost in Him, He slowly began revealing to me His plans for me. The piece that had me questioning, is now in place in my life. What a gracious God.

Now, I am in a place where I have new unanswered questions. New concerns about my future (which is quickly becoming an "our" future...see above paragraph.... ;) ) I am in another stage of looking into the unknown. My prayer now, is that I can learn from the previous season I endured - learn to:

1.) TRUST in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding. Trust Him to show me exactly what I need to know, exactly when I need to know it - that I can trust Him with my whole life. It sounds so dumb when I realize my own unbelief - Lord I believe!!! Help my unbelief.

2.) run HARD after God. Not in order to gain revelation about my future, but because that is why I am alive! That is what I am wired for. Worshipping the Lord all the days of my life - running hard after Him. May that be true of me.

Here's the song if anyone is curious :)

audra lynn - yet will i sing.mp3

Found at: FilesTube

Portland --> Seattle --> Missoula

I felt like I should blog whilst I'm in an airport. Sounds so adventurous. I am currently in the Seattle airport - Gate B3 to be exact, awaiting my next flight to Missoula, MT. Yep, that's right folks, I'm travelling.

Blessing of the day so far:

*My wonderful fiance getting up super early so he could pick me up at 6:30 to take me to the airport

*I was actually ready on time!

*Checked my bag and made it through security with no problems

*Found my gate really easily

*There was a Starbucks right next to my gate, which was perfect. Got my morning iced americano (I still wanted to snooze on the plane though :p )

*Flight to Seattle was on time

*Talked with a nice girl while waiting for our flight to Seattle, then talked a little more as we walked to our connecting flights - both wanting to make sure we didn't accidentally go out the wrong way, causing us to have to go through security again

*Reading more of Future Grace (making me consciously not only be thankful for these blessings, but trust that God will provide the rest of the journey) :)

*Finding a bathroom right by my gate to leave for MT :)

That's all for now, I'll try and keep this slightly updated with my adventures, not sure what my internet access will look like, but I think I'll be able to get on at some point during my trip!

Future Grace

I have just begun to read Future Grace by John Piper. Really, just begun - like I've only read the 2 forwards and Chapter 1 (out of 31!) - but I'm already extremely excited about what I'm reading. It was interesting glancing back at my blurb about "remembering" in my blog about graduation (yes...I just linked to my own blog...it's ok, I promise. I've seen other bloggers do it). John Piper makes the point that a lot of Christian's today base their faith on past grace - the graces of God shown to them in the past - through practices like remembering, and thankfulness. Piper says that these things aren't bad to do - remembering the cross of Christ is the foundation of our faith! Rather, his claim is that a persevering faith, is a faith that is also based upon future grace - trusting that the God who has shown us grace in the past (in so many vastly different ways) will continue to do so in the future. This is why, he claims, so many people become Christians, are "on fire", and then it "fizzles" out - because they only base their faith on past grace, and don't have faith in future grace. (now...this is entirely my own paraphrase, and what I got out of what he said, so if I'm off base, it's not necessarily due to what Piper has written). I'm really interested to keep reading and hopefully grow my faith in future grace!

:)